Every bride is worried about her wedding. And not necessarily the reason for this - the venue of the banquet or the number of guests. Here, it would seem, the main female dream came true - they called me down the aisle. What else are you missing?
Doubts begin: but I would like for a lifetime, and he will surely cope, and whether he really is the same prince, because according to my calculations he should be taller, curly, and with an Arabian horse winning all the races!
Experiences are absolutely normal, even the most loving girls are nervous before deciding to take this crucial step. So we think, read, reflect, and ... slowly but surely, we stop doubting.
Prediction of the future. In grief or joy?
A certain psychologist from America, by the name of Roland, deduced several criteria, the presence of which makes the family happy. Pay attention to your relationship with a partner and draw conclusions. How successful will your marriage be in Roland's opinion?
- Sociability of each spouse
This does not mean that you should chat without stopping, talk as much as you want. The main thing is that you should not be bored. Suppose a man does not know how to support topics of interest to you about the love affairs of your girlfriends, and you don’t understand a damn thing in his beloved nuclear physics. Think, maybe you can argue endlessly about politics. It's not so bad. But if every date with you is as quiet as gay parties in the Caucasus, then you just need to think!
- Understanding
At first, it is very difficult to correctly evaluate the relationship according to this criterion, so do not bother. It is clear that any man, like you, is now in a euphoric state: he is ready to love, give, praise and adore! Will you really try to understand each other after some time - all will be decided by the intellectual capabilities of both of you. In practice, there are few people who can actually be smarter and on time, understandingly silent.
- Good sex
Here, I think, everything is clear. If thirty years ago people were furious and everyone did not give a damn about the true reasons for their discontent, now even schoolchildren know who to blame for the teacher’s bad mood.
Good sex is the key to a healthy relationship and a good mood for both spouses.
- Support and Trust
If a wife with problems runs to her friends, and a husband to mom, then be in trouble. Sooner or later, such a relationship will collapse. She will be jealous, he does not understand what is the matter, both will discuss their affairs on the side. She will listen to her unmarried, understanding friends, he hears the other advice far from ideal.
From the first wedding night, you are responsible for everything that you do, too, together. So you need to help each other, the family is all the same.
- "HOUSE"
This refers to the fact that you should positively perceive the nest where you are. The presence of this place is simply necessary. At first, not all couples have the opportunity to live separately. It is necessary to strive for this. Whatever relationship you have with your mother-in-law, no matter how wonderful your mother is, but sharing your home is not good for YOUR new family.
You are the wife, the only mistress, and it will be incredibly difficult for you to get used to this role and at the same time fight for the right to be at the stove. If a man goes to live with the bride's relatives, this also cannot have a beneficial effect on his identification of himself as a real man, husband and father of your child.
Your head on your shoulders or let's measure it another 100 times?
Think about why you agreed. Do you really want to marry this person, or do you think that if not for him, then the train with cogs to create a cell of society is already leaving your peron? So, questions for thought:
What do you know about your future husband? Collect and analyze all the information:
- What is his family like?
- What did he achieve in his ... years?
- What kind of relationship did he have with the former?
- How does it feel about you?
- How did you meet, why did you swear, which days were the happiest.
If one of your ex appeared now and made an offer, would you agree?
- And if just a stranger, a nice guy
- And one of the friends of your future spouse
- Perhaps your best friend beckons you, as in the best traditions of American cinema?
What do you expect from marriage? Does he share your desires?
- Are you ready to have kids?
- Would you like to travel with him?
- Are you tired of being alone?
- Maybe it’s hard for you financially?
- Do you want to keep him near you forever?
Do you really love him?
- Do you know about his shortcomings?
- Does he love you as much as you do him?
- Does he love you more than his family?
- Are you ready to take his side if your family accuses him of something?
The last and most important question for the bride
If after all the thoughts you haven’t felt better, then answer another question: “Are you ready to cancel the wedding?” If you thought about your fiancé, how you will be without him, the regret that you will experience - everything is fine. But if your thoughts were about the money spent, the number of invited people and “what mom says”, then think a few more times.
It is best to contact an experienced psychologist. Spend some money on it, but you don’t make the greatest mistake of your life. You can’t talk about such a sensitive topic with your friends. And you cannot be completely frank, and they will initially put a label on you: "pre-wedding excitement." What if you really have something to worry about?
