In articles and books on psychology, self-development and personal growth, focused on women, you can increasingly find the following advice: "Live for yourself." This phrase is declared the recipe for a happy life and the best way to get rid of problems both personal and professional.
What does "live for yourself" mean?
Put your interests above the interests of everyone else (parents, spouse, children, friends)? More often pamper yourself with beautiful clothes, going to a restaurant or to the movies? Spend more time in splendid isolation?
Many women, once fully feeling strong resentment and disappointment, do so. They begin to spend a lot of money, scoring for cleaning the house, looking for more and more entertainment. At some points, it really becomes easier for them. But the feeling of relief is misleading. This is not true happiness, but only temporary satisfaction from the "little" revenge. "Ah, so you don't give a damn about me? Well, okay! I will live for myself, and you will go to hell!"
Life for yourself involves a sincere sense of joy. To understand its nature, one must turn to the opposite state of the soul - life for others.
Life for others is a typical mistake of many women, which leads to dissatisfaction. It doesn’t matter whether a woman is married or not, whether she has children. Life for others is a dependent existence.
Do you often have such thoughts in your head?
1. "I have to take care of my husband, respect him, then he will start to treat me well."
2. "The husband pays me little attention, or even ignores me. I will also start to treat him like that, then he will feel himself in my shoes and will regret it."
3. "I like to cross-stitch landscapes. But who needs them? I'd better go and learn some useful activity."
4. "A woman looks more feminine and attractive in a dress or skirt. Many people think so. Okay, so far I’ll put my pants in the back drawer."
5. "A normal mother devotes enough time to her child. And a career can wait."
Perhaps in the thoughts listed above there are notes of common sense. But most often they arise unconsciously, as a reaction to external pressure, and completely put a woman’s life under control.
Living for others means refusing to make their own choices and measure all their future actions with the reaction of the environment.
It turns out, living for yourself - does not care about the opinions of other people? Not at all. After all, loved ones can suggest something useful, calmly assess the situation from the outside. And some generally accepted opinions are quite justified. Living for yourself means simply making life choices on your own. Why? Yes, because no one will live your life in your place.
To live for yourself means to know that you are the most valuable person for yourself. Other people come and go. Even husbands can change, even children and parents move away over time. And you stay. Anyone can deceive and betray you. But not you.
You are the very person who will love you disinterestedly, endlessly and sincerely. Take care and protect. Living for yourself means always remembering it.
Then you don’t need to run after another clothes at the moment when your mood turns bad. You can just mentally calm yourself, cheer up. But if you really want to buy something, why not? Not to evil of another person, not as an escape from a problem, but simply for the soul.
What is she "living for herself"?
In conclusion (to finally clarify the picture), we describe the qualities of a woman who actually lives for herself.
1. She does not need to receive praise from anyone in order to feel confident.
2. Doesn’t squander money (she’s already living pretty well), but doesn’t strive for austerity either.
3. He monitors his health, because he values life and well-being.
4. It is difficult to offend and disappoint her.
5. Engaged in favorite things, regardless of whether it is in demand or not. Can make money on this (but not necessarily).
6. Easily changes his former opinion if he sees that it spoils her life.
7. Does not sacrifice himself for the sake of her husband, parents and even children. Nevertheless, he maintains good relations with them if he draws energy from this.
8. Quickly breaks up a destructive relationship (for example, if the husband is a tyrant or an alcoholic, she will definitely divorce him).
9. He seeks to diversify his leisure, so that life becomes more fun. But does not make of this a panacea.
10. Not overworked at work.
