Sooner or later, any parent will hear the question: "Where do the children come from?" A sensitive issue that suddenly arises as a baby makes parents not only confused, but also panic. Many adults did not receive sexual education in childhood and cannot competently conduct this important educational conversation with their children.
Consider when and how to tell the child where the children come from.
When you need to tell your child where the children come from
Such an important topic as the birth of children can be raised at any age. Better late than never. But today we will consider the situation when the child himself asked this question. The birth of a baby can interest a child at any age, especially if he learns about the imminent appearance of a brother or sister. It should be borne in mind that at whatever age the child asks this question - your answer should correspond to this age.
If it so happened that this question interested the baby up to three years old, then answer as simply as possible, avoiding the basics of physiology and the mention of sex. But one should not resort to fairy tales about stork, cabbage and other things. Thus, you only break the child’s correct understanding of the world.
At three or four years old, the child, again, should not describe sex in vivid colors. Limit yourself to a detailed description of the life and development of the baby in the stomach, an entertaining story about his birth. In this case, you can even go a little into physiology, explaining that the doctor will get the newborn out of the tummy.
Reaching five years, the child begins to be interested not only in where the children come from, but also in how they get to where they come from. Here you can touch on the topic of sex, but in a childish way. Just explain that mom and dad love each other for a long time, show this love with hugs and kisses. During such manifestations, Mom’s cell and Dad’s merge into one in Mom’s tummy. And then, according to a familiar scenario.
With the child’s admission to school, the very beginning - a turning point for parents. At this age, kids often repeat their question, to which they received an answer a little earlier, in order to better reveal the topic. It is possible that a junior high school student will ask about this for the first time. No matter how parents liked it, at this age it is already necessary to convey to the child the differences between the male and female body, touch on the topic of sex, and, most terrible, use medical terms - vagina, penis, womb, sperm, egg.
It should be noted that even at an early age it is necessary to purchase a specialized encyclopedia on this topic, which will take into account the age characteristics of the child. When your child decides to discover the great mystery of the appearance of children, the encyclopedia will come in handy, because opening a colorful book and reading descriptions is much easier than writing your own unique script on the go.
When telling a younger student about the appearance of children, do not go into colorful details and do not use too many medical terms. Answer your child’s specific question. He asks only the information that he needs for his further development. Excessive knowledge will only confuse the young researcher.
Reaching adolescence, children experience stress amid physiological changes. It is very important for you, as parents, to foresee this moment and inform the child in advance about the changes that will overtake his body. Tell your daughter about the approaching menstruation, son about the pollutions. Also, it will not be harmful to describe the child what happens at the same age with the opposite sex. But when telling your son about menstruation, and telling your daughter about emissions, refrain from details.
Mistakes Parents Make When Talking Where Children Come From
Wisely not every parent is able to tell their child where the children come from. Many, although they try, but still make banal mistakes, which are completely blasted away by the child's ideas about the world and his own physiology. Consider the most common:
• Do not put off until later
Often such a question takes parents by surprise, and they are completely unprepared to answer it. You can take a break, citing very important matters, having previously promised to talk on this subject. During a pause, think about what and how you say it. But the most important thing is to have a conversation if this question has been raised. Do not brush off and feed your baby breakfast. If he does not know the answer to this question from you, he will find it in less secure sources.
• Do not tell tales
In the modern world, telling a child about childbearing through fairy tales is silly. Our children grow up with the Internet, books and more entrepreneurial peers. This topic should not be explained through stories of a good stork or juicy cabbage in a grandmother's garden.
• Do not talk about conception as vulgarity
If a child asked this sensitive question at an age when it is already possible and necessary to talk about sex, then do not forget to mention that sex is a fruit of love and children appear due to this high feeling. Talking about sex from an overly medical point of view or deliberately showing an aversion to this process so as not to arouse the child’s desire to go and try this pleasure - you only distort the child’s ideas about the world.
• Do not be shy
If after the question you hear, you turn pale, blush and lean on the wall in a fainting state, then it is not surprising that the child will develop excessive interest in this topic.
• No question - no answer
It is a mistake to believe that if the child did not ask this question, then he does not need to tell him anything. The kid may just be shy. A conversation on this subject is required.
• Stick to age features
Explaining such an important topic to the child, adhere to his age characteristics. The kid should not talk about sex in medical language, and adolescents will not be enough to know that the child lives in the tummy.
Correctly telling the child where the children come from means to form in him the right ideas about himself and his body.
